You could come and save me
by emsie-happy
Summary: Rated M, because of swearing and suicide theme. Freddie and Sam broke up  ILoveYou  and Freddie gets a new girlfriend, how would Sam react? Inspired at the song Echo by Jason Walker.
1. iMoved on

This fan fiction is inspired on the song "Echo" from Jason Walker, feel free to listen to it. I will also add some other songs in the fanfiction, because they also inspired me, but Echo is my main inspiration, that's the reason why I started this fanfiction :) There may be spelling mistakes and in-correct sentences, I apologize for that but English isn't my first language, I actually really suck at it haha, so if there are any mistakes, please say it and I will change. Oh and it's rated M, because I'm not sure if something "Adult stuff" will happen, but if it will happen, it will happen in the last chapters and I will warn you.

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

**2 months after the break-up from Sam and Freddie. (iLove You)**

_at school_

(Sam's POV)

I was taking some ham out of my locker and Carly was talking about some boring stuff, but I wasn't paying attention, like always. Hmmm I smelled the ham..best smell ever…except…No never mind, I'm not going to think about it."Hey Sam and Carly" I heard. "Hey Freddie, who's with you?" said Carly. What? Did he had someone with him? First I was a bit ignoring him, I really didn't want to see him, but now I had to turn around. "oh hey Frednub" I was saying. "This is Sophia" he said and he took her hand "She's my girlfriend". He looked me in the eyes, like he was saying sorry to me. I really wanted to run, to get away from here. The truth is..I wasn't over him..I pretend, but it wasn't working. "Freddie! What a good news! Nice to meet you Sophie, I'm Carly. I'm so happy for you guys!" said Carly enthusiastic. Carly poke me in the arm. "yeah..nice to meet you Sophia" I said and then told them I had to go and walked away.

It was a lie, I didn't had to go, also, it wasn't really nice to meet her. I just walked away, out of the school and into the park. I needed some space, space to think. Today was iCarly, but I really didn't wanted to go. I just sat in the park. Why did Freddie and me break-up? Why did I let this happen? He was the best thing that ever happened, except Carly. Why was I thinking that we weren't ment to be, that we had nothing in comment? I mean, we have iCarly, we have so much stuff. Why was I so stupid? My phone buzzed, I looked at it and saw a message from Carly.

Carly: u okay?

Sam: yeah, couldn't b better

Carly: Sam..

Sam: I'm fine, ok?

Carly: ok, just checking. Where are u?

I was going to type that I was in the park, but I didn't. I said I was in the Groovy Smoothie. She believed me and said that she was going over there. Wait..shiz I'm not at the Groovy Smoothie. I took my stuff and ran to the Groovy Smoothie as fast as I could. I was sitting there for a minute and Carly was already coming in.

"Hey Carls" "Hey Sam" she said. "You want a smoothie?" I asked her, I tried to avoid the Freddie subject. "Yeah, sure, but wait. Sam, does it really not bother you that Freddie has a girlfriend?" she asked. I didn't know what to answer, I really didn't want to tell her that I wasn't over Freddie, but I also didn't want to lie to her. I just looked down and said nothing. Carly understood it and didn't ask any further. She tried to change the subject, but she saw that I wasn't in the mood. So we went to her home and get some stuff for iCarly ready, well, actually, Carly was getting the stuff ready and I just sat on a chair and eating some spareribs.

The lift opened and Freddie walked in. "Finally, Fredward is there." I said to tease him a bit. "Sorry I'm late…" he said before even finishing his sentence Carly said "And you brought Sophia!". WHAT? He brought Sophia. Does he really wanna kill me? "Yeah, hope you don't mind." he said. "No of course, come in Sophia" said Carly to be nice, but she knew inside I was freaking out. "Sam?" asked Freddie. "Yeah sure whatever" I said, I really didn't want him to know I wasn't over him already. Oh gosh..this is going to be a long day…

**So I hope you like this really little small part, but I promise you I'll make the next chapter longer, but if I made this chapter longer, then it wouldn't be logic anymore..I think. Oh and you really can't see here the song "Echo" in the chapter, but yeah, that part is coming!**

undefined


	2. iCan't Fix A Heart

**Okay, so I'm really quick with uploading this chapter. I hope I'll finish the story, because I haven't finish any story I uploaded, that's really bad of me, haha, but I don't have so much inspiration. But back to the story, I didn't get any reviews yet, but I'm not sad, I always read stories when they are already in chapter 12 or something, haha. I got 1 person who added my story to his/her favorite story list and story alert, so thank you! I really wanted to show jealous Sam, I hope you don't hate it, this chapter has also a jealous Sam, but you also get to see a really sweet side of her, not sure this chapter yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly and any lyrics that may shown here.**

**Edit: I uploaded it again because there was 1 mistake in it. I wrote: At lunch I sat next to Sam, but I ment Carly of course haha.**

* * *

><p>we started iCarly and in the beginning it look like the old days but soon Sophia starts giggling about everything what Freddie says. Urgh..So annoying. And then when we ended iCarly, Sophia said "Oh good job baby" and kissed him. I always said baby to him! And I had to pretend it was all okay, I even had to watch them kiss and still be fine. I couldn't be there anymore so I said I was going to get some ham, everyone would believe me, because I'm addicted to ham. I ran the stairs off and went into the kitchen. Spencer was there building his sculpture, like always. "Hey Sam, do you want to check out what I made?" he asked like he was a little boy. "No" I said a bit angry, more grumpy I think and I walked to the fridge and got some ham "What's going on?" He asked, because he sure knew something was on. "Not in the mood, Spencer." I said and I walked to the computer. "So I see you tomorrow Carly! We're going!" I heard Freddie saying while he was walking off the stairs with his new girlfriend "Sophia"."Oh and Carly, thank you for letting me stay at iCarly!" said Sophia like she was an angel or something, it almost made me puke! "Yeah..Anytime! Bye! " said Carly back. Freddie and Sophia walked out of Carly's house, finally. Well, not that I didn't want Freddie here, I just didn't want Sophia there. I swear, if she would stay here any longer, I would hit her, really bad.<p>

"You okay, Sam?" said Carly worried. "I just can't stand that chick, she's just so.." "So nice?" "Yeahh...But.." "A bit too nice?" "YES! Carly you're freaking me out here, this is just creepy, you finishing my sentences." I said and Carly laughed a bit. "There must be something about her, right?" said Carly, it even surprised me that she said that, normally she thinks everyone is nice, ahhh...I love this Carly. "Yeah..I think so" I said. "Well..Let's find it out!" I just stood there with my mouth open, if I would've hold my mouth any longer open, my ham would fall out of my mouth, luckily it didn't. "But how?" I asked her. "Let's see if we can find anything on the internet of her, and if we don't, Spencer has some friends who, you know, can find everything from a person." "Okay, do you know her last name?" I asked her. I was so excited, I mean, if we find something then Freddie will break up with her, and...Maybe he'll give me another chance..hopefully. "uhm..yeah I think she mentioned it..let me think...oh yeah, her last name was Wood! Sophia Wood." "Pfff...Her last name is Wood? Hahahaha" I laughed. So I typed in the computer to "Sophia Wood". I couldn't see anything, like she doesn't exist. "That's weird" I said "What?" "I can't find anything about her, like she's a ghost." "Well that's definitely weird...SPENC!" she yelled. "What?" He yelled back, he was probably in his room getting some more stuff for his sculpture. "Can you do something for me?" she yelled. He came out of his room and said "I'd do anything for my little sis, well except blowing up the city, pranking someone, you know how that turned out, get dressed like a women, I actually already did that, if I would have a time traveller I'd give it to you.." And he went on and on with these things, seriously, if Carly didn't stopped him, he could do talk like that for an hour! "SPENCER!" Carly yelled. "Sorry..So what's up?" he said. "Well, can you and your friends find something about a certain person?" Carly asked him sweet with her dog eyes. "ehh..well I think I can do that! What's the name of the "certain person" ?" he asked. "Sophia Wood, she just came to our school, she's new." Carly said. "Hmm...Isn't that Freddie's girlfriend?" "uh..Why do you have to know?" Carly said abrupt. "No, no..Don't have to know" he glanced, knowing it was about Freddie's girlfriend. "Sam and I are going to our room, do you know when you have the information?" Carly said with a tone that said that we needed the information quick. "Uhm..I'll text my friend right away, it may take a day, is that okay?" he said "yeah yeah, it's okay." Carly said and we walked the stairs up to her room.

"Isn't it weird that we can't find anything about Sophia, even not a facebook account?" Carly asked me while we were hitting a balloon. "Yeah, I know right. Something's not right with this girlfriend of Freddie." I said. "It's a bit funny that he might date a total freak. I think he has a thing for freaks." said Carly giggling. "HEEY! I'm not a freak!" I said defensive. Carly looked at me like are you serious? "okay, I'm a freak." We laughed both. I really am glad with Carly as friend. I always thought Carly would be jealous of me and Freddie, that we had a relationship, but she always tried to save our relationship. She's a good friend, my best friend.

**The next day**

_At school_

I was walking to my locker when suddenly Freddie put his hand on my shoulder turned me around and asked me if he could talk to me. "yeah sure Frednub" I said. I was still calling him Frednub, Fredward or whatever other nicknames I have for him, I wanted to do like everything was normal. "You okay?" he asked me concerned, like he would actually care about me. "Why'd you ask?" I asked him, sure I knew what he ment, but I didn't want to talk about it. "You know, because of me and Sophia, and I know we had some history and stuff..." He was trying to find out if I still loved him, of course I did, but I won't show it, or tell him. I didn't want to say a thing, because I really didn't want to lie to him, because he would know that I lied, but I also didn't want to tell the truth, it would only give me more troubles. "So...Are you okay with me and Sophia?" he asked like he needed my approval. Lie, Sam, lie, it would only hurt him more like you already did. "Yeah sure anything what makes you happy!" I said not looking at his eyes and I walked away.

**Freddie's POV (Only this time I think)**

I knew something was bothering Sam, but I didn't know if it was me or something else. I don't know, maybe she didn't even bother at all. Maybe secretly I'm wishing that Sam hates me and Sophia together. Urgh! Why am I thinking this? I was over Sam, right? I am over Sam. No, wait, huh. Why does she gets in my mind every time. I hate it, I hate her! I was thinking a lot when I walked to school. I saw her walking to her locker, with her beautiful curly blond hair. Why am I still thinking this? I really wanted to slap myself with a book, no actually I wanted that Sam hit me. Urgh..again a stupid thought. So I went to Sam. And of course she called me Frednub, like always, I liked it, it made me feel special, because I was the only one with a nickname, yeah, you have Carls, but that's different, right? I asked her if she was okay but apparently she didn't get the question. It was obvious that I ment me and Sophia. It was like she was avoiding my question. So I explained my question and it looked like she was somewhere else. I almost screamed at her "Sam! Pay attention" But I didn't want everyone to stare at us, wich they already did. She answered with "Yeah sure anything what makes you happy!" it really came out sarcastically , but it made me happy, well a part of it. She said "anything what makes you happy"! It looks like she still cares about me! Or she just said it, with no meaning. Why am I overreacting at every little thing that Sam says. I hate myself, I hate myself that I'm not over Sam already.

**Sam's POV **

I said "What makes you happy". I hope he got it, I hope I ment with that, that I still care about him. That I want him to be happy. He's the best thing that ever happend to me, so I want the best for him. And if I'm not the best, okay.

_"It's probably the best for you  
><em>_I only want the best for you  
>And if I'm not the best then you're stuck"<em>

At lunch time I said next to Carly and across from Freddie and Sophia. They did all flirty and just, urgh disgusting!It was like he wanted to torture me! Okay, I have tortured him for years, but that doesn't mean he has to get back at me, not this way!

_"It's like you pouring salt on my cuts"_

I couldn't watch this anymore, so I stood up and walked away. Everyone was starring at me, not only because I left, but also because I didn't eat anything. That never happens, but I just didn't felt hungry, maybe because it made me sick that Freddie and Sophia were eating each other up. I walked out of school and I walked slowly away from everything. Something made me want to turn around and go back, not to see Sophia and Freddie, just to see Freddie. I was a few footsteps away from school when I heard someone screaming my name. I turned around and I saw Freddie. I really didn't want to talk, talk about why I walked away. So I didn't talked, and he knew that I wasn't going to talk, so he talked.

"Sam, I love you, I always did and will do. You were my first love..." I was going to say "What about Carly" but didn't felt like talking, again. "And I know I was "in love" with Carly, but you know, that never worked out, and it wasn't really love, it was more like a sick obsession. Like a Christmas present you really want so badly that you start screaming when you haven't got it. But you weren't that for me, you were more, you were everything that I wanted, not just a present, my only present I wanted, and if I didn't got it, I would seriously kill myself. Because Sam, there's no point of living if you aren't there beside me. And I know, we are too different, but that made me really upset, upset that you thought that on the day that we broke up. You hurt me, you know. You seriously hurt me bad, and I know it wasn't your intention, to hurt me like that, because I know it hurt you too. But I'm trying to move on, because I know I'll never have you, and I really don't want to lose you as a friend too. And Sophia is a great girl, she's nice and polite, but she's not you. And I keep telling myself that it is okay, that I'll be okay, but it never will. I know that too. But the pain that is killing me inside gets less, every time when I'm with her. Not that I'm feeling completely happy, I think I will forever feel a bit emptiness in my heart. But you know, I gotta start living my life, I can't sit there in my room thinking what I would've do different, so I'm moving on. I'm sorry if I hurt you with that, that's not my intension, but sometimes I gotta do something for me, for myself." It was beautiful was Freddie said, but it also made me wanna scream. All of this different feelings made me cry, okay, he made me cry. I didn't want to show him, so I looked down, hoping he wouldn't see it. But he did.."Sam.." And he came closer to me and hugged me. "I love you, you know, and I'll always be there for you, don't forget that, if anything happens to you I swear, my whole world would fall apart." He gave me a kiss on my forehead and hugged me tighter.

I wished I could've hold that moment forever, hold him forever. There's nothing I'd rather have, even ham. There's nowhere I'd rather be then here, here in his arms.

_"If anything happens to you, I swear, my whole world would fall apart"_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like this chapter :) The song that is named in here is Fix a heart by Demi Lovato, it's seriously one of my favorite songs. I also hope you didn't think Freddie's speech was too cheesy. But I really wanted to give you a Seddie scene, because this scene is going to be the biggest seddie scene in the up coming chapters. Also, who is really interested what's Sophie gotta hide? Next chapter you will find it out! Please review, so I know you like the story and I won't stop writing this story.<strong>

undefined

undefined


	3. iCan't Make You Love Me

So I got a lot of mail in my inbox tomorrow with that people added this story to story alert, favorite story and favorite author! So thank you so much! I was thinking about changing the rating into T+, because I thought people wouldn't read this because it's rated M, but suddenly I got a lot of new readers, so not changing the rating at the moment, cause I'm still not sure what will happen in the future. I got a lot of inspiration so that's why I'm updating so fast and because I'm ill for like 3days, so I'm just lying in my bed with my laptop, really lazy and read like 10000 fanfics but hey! you get a new chapter from me. In this chapter you find out what Sophia is hiding, don't get too enthusiast, because it's certainly not what you thought it would be, and if, then you're really smart because it isn't really obvious. back to the story :)

**EDIT: had to upload it again (Like the other chapter) because I forgot something, sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this amazing TV show called iCarly, and unfortunately I never will.**

* * *

><p>I wish I could hold him forever, like that. Everything didn't matter anymore, I felt like nothing could hit me, everything was going to be okay in his arms. I felt secure, safe in his arms. But of course, nothing last forever. The bell rang and he let go of me. "I..uh..We should get to class" he said a bit nerdy. "Nah..Think I'm going to pass, see you at iCarly rehearsal!" I said back, like nothing happend a few seconds ago. "Sam..." I looked at him with my dead look "Just go to class, I mean, for your future?" he said but I didn't respond back. "Look, if you stop now with school, all the other years you went to school were just a waste of time, so just finish this." He said concerned. Why could he always talk me over, urghh I hated him. "Okay.." And I followed his steps to the school. When we came in the hall were Carly and Sophia were talking, Freddie kissed Sophia and I said I needed to go to class. Carly ran after me and asked me what happend outside, I said nothing, basically I wasn't lying, okay, he just gave me a speech with telling me how much he loved me, but nothing changed, it's still the same. He's with Sophia and I, I'm still the same old Sam..<p>

After class I went to my locker and I saw Carly waiting on me. "Hey Sam! I've got some big news about "you know who" but let's go home before someone hears us" "Ahh..I know what you mean. Let me just put this in my locker and go." When we came in Carly's home, we first had a drink and after that we sat in the couch, I knew something big had to go on. "So, what you found out..or more, what did Spencer found out." "Okay, guess what, Sophia isn't real, she's not a real person" "So she's a robot?" I laughed, okay I knew she wasn't a robot, but okay, come on who wouldn't ask this. "Nooo..of course not. But Spencer's friend did some digging and used a picture of Sophia and found out she's not really Sophia Wood but Kaylee Woodsen." "okay..weird, so why did she changed her name?" "that was my question also! She moved from school like two times! And I'm really sure it's not because of her parents who wanted to move." "Okay.." I said, I really didn't know how to answer. "Soo...Should we ask her and tell Freddie?" she said really exciting. "uh..no" she looked shocked when I said that. "Why not?" "Because...urgh..I don't wanna hurt Freddie, he's finally happy, so let him stay happy, that's at least what he deserves." I said. I knew inside I should just stay out of this, but part of me wanted to scream and tell Freddie, hoping that he would break up with her and get back together with me. "But Sam..If we don't tell him and he finds out about her and that we knew it all time, he would get angry that we didn't told him! And I mean, sure I want the best for him, but if she's a liar, I don't want her here." "Okay..So how you wanna handle this?" I asked, still not sure if I should do this. "Tonight, at iCarly rehearsal, I invited her." "Okay." I said and we changed the subject before Freddie would walk in.

_At iCarly rehearsal_

So when are Freddie and Sophia..uh Kaylee comming?" I asked. I was so nervous, I didn't know how he would react, scared, okay Pucketts are never scared, but I'm changing in a softy because of Freddie...urgh another reason to hate him. "I think they're coming over in a minute. You okay?" she asked "Yeah of course, why not?" I said to calm her, I knew she was as nervous as I was. Before she could answer on my question, Freddie and Sophia were walking in. "Hey ladies, how are you all?" Freddie asked, he was so happy, you could see it in his eyes, I didn't want to ruin his day, truly, believe me, I didn't. I know I'm supposed to hate him and make his life miserable, but I just couldn't. "Fine" we said in choir. Oh god I didn't know how to bring up the whole Sophia/Kaylee thing, but before I even could think about it, Carly already made her move. "I'm so glad you could come Sophia! Or should I say Kaylee?" Freddie looked up, a bit shocked..O what did I do..We just were standing there in silent. "What are you talking about?" Freddie asked a bit angry but also curious. "Maybe you should ask your girlfriend, Kaylee Woodsen." "Carly and Sam, I know" before Kaylee or Sophia, urgh I really was hating this name thing, could finish her sentence, Freddie said "Okay, what the hell, are you accusing Sophia at something! I thought you were my friends!" Freddie was getting angrier, really angry, I was getting a bit scared. "It's okay Freddie, I'll tell them, they need to know, they deserve the truth." Kaylee said. I haven't said a word, all this time, but finally I could speak, finally I wasn't frozen anymore. "Tell us what?" I asked a bit angry too, I mean, she'd better have a good explanation to all of this or I'm going to kill her, nah, not really, but you know what I mean. "Okay, well, my first name is Kaylee, I got bullied a lot, because I was fat, I came home crying almost everyday, my parents wanted to move, so we went to another school, but I got bullied again. So my mom and dad wanted to move again, so we moved here. In the holiday I went on a diet and I was losing weight. Too much weight. I got anorexia, really bad. One day I passed on the street, Freddie helped me, that's when I got to know him, he was really sweet, and we started talking. I didn't want to tell my real name, because I was scared he would find information about me, find pictures on the internet and nasty comments from my old classmates, so I changed my name into Sophia. Sophia is my middle name and I thought about Wood, because that looks a bit on my last name. Freddie knew I had anorexia, so he helped me to get healthy again, he's such a gentleman." I wanted to puke..really..."Freddie also asked me why I thought I was fat, he really wanted to help me, so I told him the whole story, I was scared he'd be mad, but he didn't. He stayed with me and helped me. And now I'm healthy again! I still wanted to be called Sophia, scared that kids on this school would find out I was fat and would bully me. So I'm sorry you guys thought I wanted to hurt Freddie, I would never hurt Freddie, I love him!" Freddie looked at her and smiled. She was already crying..ugh..pathetic. He gave her a sweet hug, of course. Then Freddie let her go and turned to us. "I can't believe you did this guys! Did you hired a detective or something? I really thought you were my friends, wanted to see me happy!" "Of course we do, that's why we did this! We didn't want to see you get hurt!" Carly said. "So you're hiring a detective so you can find information about my girlfriend, why didn't you just asked me or trust me!" "We did Freddie, but we didn't want to make you happy." Carly said defensive. I really didn't know what to say, so I shut my mouth before I'd say something stupid. "I'm really disappointed in you, especially you Sam. I really thought you wanted to see me happy. I can't believe I just thought that! You only wanted to see me get hurt, didn't you? Like always. You need to grow up Sam! I even think you wanted to see me break up with Sophia, didn't you? And think I would get together with you, so you can hurt me again, don't you! Well Sam, I never, never in my whole life would date you ever again! I never want to see you again! Gosh..I can't believe that I thought I loved you, that you loved me..." I was tearing up, I was hurt about what Freddie just said, I wanted to scream, to cry, but I couldn't. I couldn't show him that I as hurt. I just said nothing and kept looking down, so he wouldn't see that I cried, so I didn't have to see his face, his angry face. "Let's go Sophia." he said and he left the room.

**Author's note: if you'd like, please click on it youtube(.)com(/)watch?v=vp-bPAKLfx4 (no spam) (remove the (), I had to put it there or else the link would be remove in this story, it's a song: I can't make you love me Bon Iver, please listen to this song while reading further. It inspired me and some lyrics fits really good at it.**

I slowly felt on the ground, my arms around my knee's and crying inside. Carly came up to me and said everything would be allright. It wasn't going to be allright anymore, I really messed it up. I stood up. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't convince me, I wouldn't lost the love of my life, the most important person to me! Why? Why did you had to do this." I yelled at her. I walked away, crying. Carly just stood there, with a face full of questions and asking herself what just happend. I know I shouldn't had said that to her, she didn't deserve it, I know it was my fault to, but I was just so angry. And I know that I hurt her, especially with saying that Freddie was the most important person to me, yes he was, but Carly was it to, I just didn't said that to her. I was walking home. I opened the door and went to the kitchen to get some ham, the only thing that would comfort me a bit. Then I noticed a note on the kitchen counter. "_Dear Sam, won't be home till next week, or next month, who knows. I'm going on a trip with Steven, a really great man I met, he's so nice. When something is up, don't call me! Loves, you're mom." _My whole world was falling apart. I just lost everyone. I didn't had anyone. Freddie was gone, I messed it up with Carly, my mom was gone..nobody. I wanted to disappear..I just cried in my bed, screaming, yelling and breaking things. I just wanted Freddie here, to give me a hug, saying everything is going to be okay. That he just hold me close, because in his arms, I feel safe, like nothing can hurt me.

_"Lay down with me_  
><em>Tell me no lies<em>  
><em>Just hold me close<em>  
><em>Don't patronize"<em>

I don't think Freddie is ever going to forgive me, ever. He never was so angry before. I never knew this side of him, he was really angry. I'm falling apart.

**Freddie's POV (Hmmm I guess I like writing Freddie's POV ( a really short part of his POV )**

I never intended to hurt Sam with what I said, because I know I hurt her with it. But I was just so angry. I thought wouldn't do this to me, especially after this morning, how could she? I didn't mean everything I said to her, my head was bursting, I just said stuff I didn't mean because I was angry. I still loved her, but I hated her. But that's the way we role, Sam and Freddie, love and hate relationship. I hope she knows that I didn't mean it.

_"I know your image of me is where I hope to be  
>I treated you unkindly, darling, can't you see<br>There's no one more important to me, darling, darling, can't you just see through me?"_

What did I do?...Everything will be fine right? I mean, we won't talk to each other a few days, but then we get over it, forget it and be friends again, right? Did I really messed it up this time?

_"She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart  
>While i'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar<br>And we don't know how we got into this mad situation  
>Only doing things out of frustration"<em>

I don't think Sam is ever going to forgive me, ever. What I said really hurt her. She always held her feelings inside her, I was the first one, maybe the only one, who let her open her heart, and now I messed it up. She's so vulnerable. Tomorrow I will talk to her, tomorrow I will lay down my pride. I'm still angry, but I know she did this with love, because she didn't want me to get hurt and maybe, she still was a little bit jealous, that doesn't mean that this is allright, but I can't let her walk around feeling unloved, and thinking I never loved her, that I hate her. Because I do, but I also love her.

_"Morning will come,_  
><em>And I'll do what's right<em>  
><em>Just give me till then<em>  
><em>To give up this fight<em>  
><em>And I will give up this fight"<em>

* * *

><p><strong>So A LOT of happend, well actually not really a lot, but big things happend. You may think this is a bit too much, but I had to make it a bit too much, because of the next chapter. Also a lot of music lyrics in it. I asked you to listen to the song, because it's really beautiful (hope you think this to) but also because I think it fits. Because both think the other don't love the other. The second lyrics thing here above, is from I can't make you love me from Bon Iver, but the weird thing you don't hear it in the song, but I found it on a lyrics website, 2 actually, but it fits so perfectly that I just put it in there. The third one if from the "For The First Time" from The Script. And the last one if also from Bon Iver. I hope you liked this chapter, I got a few reviews from the other chapters, thank you, it really inspired me to write further. Jepp, I know my English isn't really good, but thanks to the one who said that I did it well for someone who isn't really good at English (Seriously I'm not haha, when I talk with English people, I can speak it fluently, but when I'm in class I just freeze, really weird haha. I hoped you also liked the lyrics in the story :) I'll update soon! Oh and I don't know why "undefined" stands on the end of my chapter, no idea haha. please review! you will make me happy and give me more inspiration! Only if you say: I liked it haha. Oh and I hoped I suprised you about Sophia, I really didn't want her to look bad, especially because I wanted to make Freddie a bit angry :p but if you hated that Freddie was angry, next chapter or the next after that is going to be better! I promise! Lovess a crazy fan girl! :p<strong>

undefined

undefined


	4. iLeave Seattle

**I didn't get any reviews :( but okay it's only 1 day haha, and I'm just quick with updating, but I have so much inspiration! But I'm scared I go too fast with the story :s I still hope you like this chapter! Please review, because I'm really scared no one is enjoying the story, and if I think that, I might quit the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own iCarly :(**

* * *

><p><strong>Sam's POV (If you couldn't figure it out haha)<strong>

I woke up, the house looked like a mess and I had an unbelievable big hang-over. What happened last night? Oh right, I yelled at Carly, Mom was gone, and Freddie was mad at me..The wound was still fresh. I drank a lot yesterday, drink the pain away. I couldn't face Freddie ever again, I couldn't face Carly again. I need to leave, to go away, I don't want to be here anymore. I couldn't take my moms car, because she had it, I needed to find a car, or something that could bring me away from here. Wait..I know it!

**Freddie's POV**

Carly texted me if she and I could talk before school started, I just said yes, because I knew it wouldn't solve anything if I didn't talk to her. I was still a bit angry but it was time to get over it. I got my stuff and walked to school.

_At school_

"Freddie!" I heard. "Oh hey Carly!" I said back. "Okay, Freddie, I'm so sorry about everything! It wasn't my intention to hurt you or Sophia, but I texted Sam if she also could come, but she didn't answer, maybe she's still angry. So, maybe Sam is coming, but I dunno because I haven't hear anything from her. But hope you don't mind." Carly said really fast. "No, no it's okay. But why is she angry?" I asked, I mean, is she angry at me? Okay, I was a completely ass, but I had the right, right? And besides, why would she be angry, she would be more upset, I think. "Uhmm..Well Sam and I had a fight when you left, or more, she only yelled at me and then she ran away. But it doesn't matter, it's Sam, right?" she said, you could hear Carly was still upset. "I guess, so what she yelled at you?" I asked, I really wanted to know, Sam never yells at Carly, yeah okay, she screams when she doesn't get it her way, like when Carly had to entern the beauty pageant. "About it was my fault you were angry at her. But Sam was upset, it wasn't her intention." you could hear Carly didn't truly believe herself. "But, Freddie, I'm really sorry. It was truly all my fault, I pushed Sam to do this. You know, when an ex-boyfriend of a girl gets a new girlfriend, all her girlfriends will talk about the "new girlfriend" and make her look bad, you know, the new girlfriend. So did we, that's what girls do, when they are still not over their ex." Wait..What? Carly mumbled the last sentence a bit, so I couldn't hear it, but I heard it very clear, but before I could think about it, Carly talked further. "So we looked her up at facebook, but we couldn't find her, so we looked just on the internet, and there was nothing about her. Sam and I thought it was really weird, so we asked Spencer if he could find some information about her, you know, he has friends who can find stuff like that. We only did because we were worried about you! I..We didn't want you to get hurt! You've been through enough. I'm really sorry Freddie, and I know Sam is too." she said, I know she ment it. I hugged her and said that I believed her. I was still a bit angry, she knew that, but I couldn't let this ruin our friendship, and especially not my friendship with Sam. I texted her but she didn't reply, I also tried to call her like ten times, but she still didn't answer, maybe I was too hard on her. She ditched school today, but for Sam it was normal, and maybe she didn't want to face me, I'd understand that.

_3 days later_

Sam still didn't reply on any of my messages, so I thought I go visit her. We needed to talk. I went to her house, or more an apartment. It was a few blocks away. I knocked at the door a few times, but didn't get an answer. "SAAAM! Open up the door, I know you're in there! We need to talk, come on, open the door! I'm sorry yeah..here I said it..happy? I didn't ment to make you so upset, I was just so angry, I'm sorry. Please, open up the door. Don't tell me you can't forgive me, don't tell me that I'm an asshole, because Sam, you're also a pain in the ass. But what do I need to do if I don't have somebody who makes my life miserable?...Okay fine Sam, don't open up the door, do like you always do, not open yourself to anyone, really grown up person you are! God..SAM..Just open this fucking door!" I screamed. "Sir, can I help you? Is there something wrong?" an old lady asked who lived next to Sam. "Oh, I'm sorry m'am. I just had a fight with this girl who lives her and I came here to apologize, but she won't open the door, and I really need to say I'm sorry." I said, I was a bit shocked that the old lady just heard everything, I was a bit ashamed because of my language. "I'm sorry young man, but she left like three days ago." the old lady said. "What? Where did she go?" oh god, what did I do. I wanted to hit myself. "She left in the morning with a big weekend bag. I don't know where she went, but I could see she was really upset. The evening before she made a lot of noise, screaming and crying." I just stood there, like I was hit by a car. "I can see you really loved her, I'm sure you will find her!" the old lady said and she walked away. I needed to get in her apartment just to see where she's going, so I broke in. Sam would be really proud of me that I did that. I smiled at myself, thinking about her. When I walked in, everywhere you could find bottles of wodka, whisky or any other liquor. I went into her room and it was a mess. You could see she had thrown things at the wall. Broken lamps and glass all over the floor from the broken bottles. I found a note in the kitchen:

_Dear mom,_

_If you come home, you'd see I'm not here._  
><em>Don't be worried, not that you ever would be, but I am not here anymore.<em>  
><em>I needed to go away, needed to be somewhere else.<em>  
><em>I figured people are better without me.<em>  
><em>Don't come looking for me, not that you will, it's for the best.<em>  
><em>Oh and if Carly or Freddie ask where I am, say that I am somewhere, where I won't fuck up their life.<em>

_Sam_

Oh noo..Sam..Where are you?

I walked into Carly's apartment. "Carly, I'm really getting worried about Sam, it's been 5 day's since we had the fight! I already called and texted her like hundred times, but she didn't reply on any of them. It's not normal that Sam does this." I said worried, not mentioning I broke in her apartment, before she would get angry that I did that. "I know Freddie! I'm not crazy, but she doesn't reply on my texts and calles either." Carly was pounding. I needed to tell her "Carly..I don't want you to get upset, but-" "How can I be more upset then right now!" She yelled. "Okay, I know, but I went to Sam's apartment, but she wasn't home, but I found a note saying that-" "What? How did you found that note?" "I sort of broke in.." I said quickly. "What? You broke in, Freddie!" "Okay, I know it isn't right, but the old lady who lives next to Sam said that she had left, and I needed to find out where she went." "Huh, what, did Sam left? Where'd she go?" Carly was freaking out. "I don't know, I tried to find it out, but the only thing she said on the note was: "if Carly or Freddie ask where I am, say that I am somewhere, where I won't fuck up their life" that's the only thing she wrote about where she went." I said "What? But she doesn't fuck up our lives, okay, a little bit, but that's okay, I do to and you. So did you find anything out?" she asked a bit calmly, finally she was getting a bit serious, not that she wasn't before, but now she really could pay attention and help me and not only freaking out. " I don't know, nothing in her flat you can find something that says where she's going. It's like almost that time when she was in that institution- WAIT! I know it!" I finally knew how we could find Sam! "What? What did you found?" I ran to the computer "Okay, you know when we didn't know where Sam was, you know, after we kissed.." "YEAH I know, just tell me what you found out!" "Okay, well, we used the pearphone tracker to find out where she was." "Oh yeah, I remembered, you really are smart!" I typed in the site and was finally getting some hope to find Sam "I need her password, can you typ it in?" "Yeah of course" Carly said and she typed it in. "It says wrong, you sure you got the right password?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm sure, maybe I made a typing mistake." and she typed it in again, but still it didn't worked. "Did she changed her password?" "I dunno, god, finally we know how to find Sam and that she changed her password, urgh, sometimes I can kill Sam." Carly freaked out. "Okay, calm down, let's click on 'Forgot password'" I said. "Okay, here's the question to find out what your password is if you lost it, let's read it. The most important person in my life..hmm that isn't hard, that's you!" I said and I typed in Carly, but it wasn't right, so I typed Carly Shay in, but it still wasn't right. "Freddie! It isn't me, it's you!" Carly yelled almost. "That's ridicules, I would never be the importants person in her life!" I laughed. "Well you are, she told me, when Sam yelled at me four days ago. She told me that she just lost the love of her live, the most important person in her life! That's why I was upset, also." Cary said. "Why? We always fight, break up, kick each other and make our life miserable!" I couldn't believe it. "Because you make her feel compleet, you make her feel perfect, you get the good out of her." "That's impossible!" I said, still sure I wasn't the most important person for her. "You know that day when you sat next to Sophia when we lunched and Sam walked away. You went after her, you told her about how special she was for you but that you had to move on, I know, she told me, not everything, but the most things. And then when she was about to cry, or maybe she was already crying, what is really strange for Sam, but you hugged her. She told me that she wanted to hold that moment forever, she told me she felt safe and secure in your arms. Can't you see it Freddie? Sam loves you so much!" Carly said. "I know..But-" "Just type it in!" finally it worked! "AND?" Carly asked impatient. "She's..She's like almost 300miles away!" I yelled shocked. "SPENCEER!" Carly screamed "Whaaat!" he screamed back when he came out of his room. "What can I do for you, again?" Spencer asked, with a stress on again. "Can you drive us to..."


	5. iLeave For Good

**I quickly wrote the last chapter and uploaded it really fast, so that's why it may have some stupid mistakes and I didn't said something at the end, you know an author's note. Uhm..I didn't said were Sam was, because really I didn't know. I really don't know so much about America, and especially not Seattle. I know a few things, because when I was 3 months old we moved there because my father got there a job, but my mom missed her family so we moved back again :( But I really don't know wich other places there are and how far it is driving. I did looked at Google Maps, figuring out where I would send her, but on the road to the place where she is going, has to look like a road trip, with motels and empty roads and a must have: a big wood somewhere with a river and a cliff or something. Okay, I'm giving some stuff away from the story, sorry! So I really couldn't find a place, if you know something, just message me, that would really help! :) oh and there is going to be a lot of music lyrics, but that won't make the chapter shorter :) but some lyrics is just sooo perfect for my story :) sorry for uploading this chapter a bit late, well actually it isn't really late, because I know some author's here are taking a month for uploading 1 chapter haha. But I had to catch in so much from school cuz I was sick and we had Sint Nicolas, sort of Santa Claus (just google it :p). but back to the story haha**

* * *

><p>"Thanks for doing this" I said. "No probs, but you sure you wanna leave Seattle?" he said. "yeah, to much chiz, you know." I said back, thinking about what happened. "I understand"<p>

**Flashback**

"Jake?""Yeah, that's me""Oh, I'm Sam, you remember me right?""Yeah, of course, what's up?""oh nothing..""You sure? You're calling me at 4 am.""I need to leave Seattle, can you help me?""Oh okay, why'd you have to leave Seattle?""uhm..stuff happened, okay? I'll tell you later. But can you help me?""yeah,sure. I owe you, haha. When do you want to leave?""Soon as possible""Okay..Can you give me about 2 hours? Need to take care of a few things""Yeah, sure. Uhmm..I meet you in front of my flat?""okay, see you them!""Thanks"I hang up the phone. In about 2 hours I was going to leave Seattle, finally. I couldn't deal with this anymore, I couldn't deal with him anymore. Jake was an old friend I met on the street. He had some problems with a few dudes who wanted to kill him, well not kill, but kick him in places you'd never thought you can be kicked. I helped him, and since then we got to know each other. I never was really close with him, he had his own life, like me. But sometimes we'd hang out sometimes, like in summer. We would make a road trip, just for about a week, because Carly and Freddie would be on holiday and I'd stay at home. I packed everything I thought I needed and in about half an hour I was ready, so I quickly wrote a note to my mom. I picked up my bag and ran out of my apartment to wait downstairs.

**End of flashback**

"So where do you want to go?" he asked. "Uhm some place far away from here, something like were we went last summer!" I said. We were already in the car and driving somewhere. I looked out of the window, thinking. The radio was playing a song.

_"I wish he was my boyfriend_  
><em>I wish he was my boyfriend<em>  
><em>I'd love him till the very end<em>  
><em>But instead he is just a friend<em>  
><em>I wish he was my boyfriend<em>

_The other girl is not like me_  
><em>She's prettier and skinnier<em>  
><em>She has a college degree<em>  
><em>I dropped out when I was seventeen<em>  
><em>If I could only get her out of the picture<em>  
><em>Then he would know how much I want him"<em>

Ugh, why had to be this song on the radio. I changed the channel.

_"I was feeling sad_  
><em>Can't help looking back<em>  
><em>Highways flew by<em>  
><em>Run, run, run away<em>  
><em>No sense of time<em>  
><em>Want you to stay<em>  
><em>Want keep you inside<em>

_Run, run, run away_  
><em>Lost, lost, lost my mind<em>  
><em>Want you to stay<em>  
><em>Want you to be my prize"<em>

"SERIOUSLY?" I almost yelled. "Huh..What? Did I do something wrong?" Jake asked confused. Oh shit, did I just say that aloud? "Uhm..The songs on the radio..you know..they remind me of everything, of him..." wait did I just say him? I keep saying things out loud what I really shouldn't do. "Him?" asked Jake. It was pretty obvious he would ask that. I didn't say anything and kept looking down. "So that's what it's about, about a guy. You're running away from a guy?" he asked like I was stupid. "It's complicated.." I said back. "Love isn't complicated. You love him or you don't, you really shouldn't run away from it...I mean him." "Yeah..I know..But I messed it up, okay? I messed it up really bad and I ended up losing him..I ended up losing the person who made me complete...And now..now I'm too late." I said, still looking down, a tear was coming up. "Chizz..Didn't know that Sam would be so fluffy about a guy.." he joked, to make me laugh I think. If I wouldn't be almost falling down, mentally of course, I would really slap him. "Just forget it, okay? I really don't wanna talk about it." I said back a bit angry. He nodded and looked at the road again.

It was becoming dark so we stopped at a motel with a nice bar. We drank a few beers and then I said I wanted to go to my room. I thought running away would help, away from there. It did, but not completely. I still felt a whole inside my heart, a missing piece. And if I would be able to move on, I think, I would forever feel this, something empty inside me. I took my pearphone, what by the way thousands missed messages had, and put it on shuffle. I always could fall asleep faster if I had music on, it relaxed me.

_"Did you forget_  
><em>That I was even alive<em>  
><em>Did you forget<em>  
><em>Everything we ever had<em>  
><em>Did you forget<em>  
><em>Did you forget<em>  
><em>About me<em>

_Did you regret_  
><em>Ever standing by my side<em>  
><em>Did you forget<em>  
><em>What we were feeling inside<em>  
><em>Now I'm left to forget<em>  
><em>About us<em>

_But somewhere we went wrong_  
><em>We were once so strong<em>  
><em>Our love is like a song<em>  
><em>You can't forget it"<em>

I woke up, for a minute I forgot what happened, everything what happened the last months. The break up, the "new" girlfriend, the fight, the leaving. I stood up and found a note on the table.

_Dear Sam,_

_You might notice I'm not here. I'm really sorry, but I met a girl last night. She's amazing! She's not like the others. Even though I only know her for a few hours, we talked so much and had so much fun. I think she is the same thing for me as the guy you had troubles with. I really want to find it out. I'm staying here for I don't know actually. You can use my car, if you bring it back, sometime..Or I'll find it somewhere haha. I hope you can figure things out and realize what you really want, because I know, you're not sure. Don't do anything stupid!_

_Loves,_  
><em>Jake <em>

Another person leaving, just what I needed. I took the car keys that where next to the table. I picked up my bag, walked to the car and began to drive. I really didn't know where I wanted to go, but I'm sure I'll figure it out when I'm driving. I turned the radio on.

_"When I look in your eyes_  
><em>I can see a reflection<em>  
><em>of the words that we left<em>  
><em>unsaid<em>

_And I was yours at the perfect time_  
><em>But I just had to leave<em>

_Looking back_  
><em>endless memories in a photograph<em>  
><em>come back<em>  
><em>wishing for another day with you<em>

_I didn't see this coming_  
><em>thought that we were fine<em>  
><em>now I know I'm wrong<em>  
><em>But the hardest part<em>  
><em>is that goodbye is forever<em>  
><em>and how you're moving on"<em>

The song exactly told me what I felt. Why did all the songs on the radio make me think of me? Why?

I stopped by a petrol station to tank and to get some snacks, you know me. I paid for the gas and bought some chocolat and mini sausages. I put them in my pockets and walked to the car. When I finally sat in the car some man knocked on the window. I opened the door. "Hello sir, is there something?" I asked him polite. Woow...That's new, I never was polite, especially not to strangers, maybe Seattle made me rude. "Don't scream, just do what we tell you." he said. I wanted to ask more, like what the hell was he talking about and what he ment with we but then I looked down at the small opening from the door and I saw a gun. Two guys including the man with the gun stepped in the car and let me drive for a few minutes and then they let me stopped the car in the middle of nowhere. "Thank you for cooperating, but unfortunately it ends here." "What? I did what you asked me to do" I asked, I was scared, freaking scared. Sam Puckett isn't scared, but this time I was. Maybe it was better, then I would be dead, a death body in the middle of nowhere. Nobody would care, my body would be eaten by animals, and nobody would know I'm dead. "Well, what are we supposed to do with you? I mean, we can't take you with us. You will hand us in at the police." "No, I won't, just don't kill me. I don't wanna die yet. Actually I want, but not this way. Please, don't." I said begging. "Woow..We're not gonna kill you, we could get in serious trouble if we do that. We could get away from it, if your body would be eaten by animals. We're just going to leave you here. You may get eaten by animals or die from the hungry, but at least we didn't kill you. So, have a nice stay in here." He said and they kicked me out of the car. "What? You can't leave me here!" I screamed. "Yes we can" and they started the car and drove away. What the hell was I supposed to do. I didn't know where I was, how I could get out of here. I could follow the road and hope that I'll meet someone on the road, but this road was pretty abandon. "Is there someone here!" I screamed, hoping I would get an answer, hoping that there would be someone. Someone who would save me from here. But that's just hoping, hoping never works, at least not with me. People need hope, because they have to believe in something, something that maybe never could come true. Hope...That's just a stupid word.

_"Hello, hello_  
><em>anybody out there?<em>  
><em>'cause I don't hear a sound<em>  
><em>alone, alone<em>  
><em>I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now"<em>

Wait..I have my phone in my pocket, I searched in all of my pockets and finally found my phone. "SERIOUSLY!" I screamed almost. My phone was dead..Always happens to me. There was a wood next to the road and I decided to go there. It may not save me, but hey, at least the animals get food and nobody has to worry about me.

My stomach was growling, I was so hungry. "YESS!" I screamed, when I found some food in my pockets from the petrol station. I was walking in the woods, it gave me a relaxed feeling. When it turned dark I found a cave and I decided to stay there for a night. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find a way to the human world, even though I find it nice here, away from everything and everyone who reminds me of...

"FREDDIE! NO! Don't leave me here! Please!" I woke up in the middle of the night. Was this real? What just happened. I had a nightmare, a big scary one, you know, when you want to go to your parents room and sleep in their bed because you're too scared and you feel secure with them. I never had that, not only because I never would've walked to my mother's bedroom, because she would yell at me if I did, but also because Sam Puckett was never scared. This time I was, maybe because the nightmare looked so real. I walked in the school hallway and saw Carly, but she ignored me, she wouldn't talk to me, everyone was ignoring me, I was freakin' out. Then I saw him, Freddie. I said "Heey Freddork" but he didn't respond. First I thought because he didn't like the name, but then I knew he was also ignoring me. "FREDDIE! Why are you ignoring me! Why is everyone ignoring me! Why won't you talk to me?" I said, more like screaming. "Because Sam, because you're nothing, you're worthless, nobody wants you here, just go away, so nobody has to care about you" he said. I believed him, I believed everything. He walked away, and that's when I screamed and woke up. Even though I don't have my parents bedroom to sleep in when I'm scared, I have something else, somebody else. When I was with him I felt like nothing could hit me, nothing could happen. I miss his arms, his soft hugs, I miss him. If only he would've been here, he would laugh about this situation were I came in, we wouldn't be scared because we were together, that's the only thing that matters. We could lay there in the cave forever. Just us two. If only he would be here then he could save me, he probably would have something with him, like a phone that's actually working or some other electronica thing, he could built a GPS, yeah he could, he's so smart, he's amazing. Why did I ever leave him?

_"listen, listen_  
><em>I would take a whisper if<em>  
><em>that's all you have to give<em>  
><em>but it isn't, isn't<em>  
><em>you could come and save me<em>  
><em>try to chase it crazy right out of my head"<em>

I woke up. It was morning. Auch..my head hurts because I slept on the ground. I stood up and walked out of the cave. Woooow..what a light. A blue sky, birds were singing, the sun was shining. Everything looked normal, happy, beautiful. Until you looked at me, a piece of crack, miserable person. I had hungry and I ate my last mini sausage. I was walking, walking to somewhere. I really didn't know. I walked out of the woods, I was standing on a hill or mountain I don't know, it looked a bit like the rock Uluru, you know in Australia. Don't know how I know this. But it was different. I was out on the edge. Below me, by the edge, like more then 10 meters down, there was a river, a pretty rough one. On the other side of the river there was just mud, earth and grass. A beautiful view. Okay, this doesn't even sound as me. Apparently leaving Seattle has changed me in a soft person, or just walking in the woods in the middle of nowhere. I screamed, I screamed so hard, all my angry, sad or any feeling I was screaming out of my body. It worked, I felt relief.

_"I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name_  
><em>like a fool at the top of my lungs<em>  
><em>sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright<em>  
><em>but it's never enough<em>  
><em>cause my echo, echo<em>  
><em>is the only voice coming back<em>  
><em>my shadow, shadow<em>  
><em>is the only friend that I have"<em>

This is my end, I know it. I don't have any food, no phone that's working, no friends or anything. I can leave right now, for good. Come on Sam, do you want to live? Do you want to live with guilt with all of these questions why you left, or why you left him. Do you want to live this way? My head was pouncing. I don't wanna live, not without him, not here. I lifted my leg, wanted to jump in the deep. Leave forever.

"Sam?"

* * *

><p><strong>Pretty interesting long storychapter? haha :p In this chapter you found out why the title of this story is "You could come and save me" and the song what inspired me, Echo from Jason walker. I just had this idea that Sam was out on the edge and that she wanted to kill herself (yeah..haha a little harsh) and that well someone said Sam...The songs I used are: Boyfriend - Best Coast, Dont forget - Demi Lovato,The Photograph - Julia Sheer and Echo. Something else I wanna say..uhm..oh yeah this was a Sam POV's chapter. The next chapter is different, that's the only thing I'll tell you haha :p please review so I know you like the story and I will write further :) And please tell me if you like the songs in the story :D just the lyrics, if it fits or you just find it irritating. byebye!**

undefined


	6. iSee Her Leave

**So I didn't get any reviews :( but I'm just sooo nice ( haha actually not :p ) that I still wanted to upload this chapter. Oh and I know it was a bit difficult to understand where Sam was, it was really hard to explain, because I had this certain image where she was and it was really hard to explain the image to you guys, especially if you're really bad in English haha. But I have something to understand the picture more, you ever watched the video of the one that got away by Katy Perry, and then you see in the last part that he dies because of a car accident, well the place were he dies at 3:58 and 4:10, that's the picture it looks like in my head, but then with a river :) I really liked the sort of cliff hanger of the last chapter, I hope you also did :) I'm sorry it took a week to upload this, but I really needed some more inspiration. And I also need music to write this fanfiction, so I've made a playlist with 59 songs, that's why I also put songs in it, because they inspired me and/or they fit in the story. Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, if I would, Sam and Freddie would be still together, or have some more moments :) (I understand why Dan broke them up, but still)**

* * *

><p>I was sitting in the car, looking out of the window. We drove past trees, cars, houses, just normal stuff you would see if you sat in the car, but I didn't look at any tree, house, car, I didn't look at anything. I only closed my eyes to see those beautiful eyes, blond hair and hear her voice.<p>

***Flashback* (During the seddie-arc, but just a (made-up) scene, that wasn't in the episode)**

"So you kinda love me?" I said, playing with her fingers. We were sitting on the fire escape, her head was on my chest and I swear at that moment, I would never let her go. We just had a fight, about Sam who ruined my changes to my big future. Luckily Carly helped, if she didn't, we would't be together right now, and I would be so mad at myself.

"Well, you know how Carly always overreact" she says with a smile, and tries to deny it.  
>"Oh..So you don't love me?" I said to tease her a bit<br>"I didn't say that" She says quick  
>"So you do love me" I said with a big smile<br>"Mmm..Well maybe..A little bit..But not if you're acting like this" She said and turned her head to me instead of looking at our hands holding each other.  
>"Like what?" I said with a smirk.<br>"You know what I mean" she said and then her lips touched my lips, it was a soft kiss, but full of passion. I stopped.  
>"What?" she asked, scared that she did something wrong.<br>"Nothing..I..."  
>"What Freddifer?"<br>"I..I just..." I took a pause before I said this. "I love you Sam" and I kissed her. I would almost say this was the best night ever, but every night with her was the best.

***End of flashback***

The radio was on, Katy Perry was on.

_"All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)_  
><em>It can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)<em>  
><em>I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Woooooow)<em>  
><em>'Cause now I paid the price<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would be your girl<em>  
><em>We'd keep all our promises<em>  
><em>Be us against the world"<em>

Us against the world..That's what I always said to her.

***Flashback* (Again a made up story during the seddie arc)**

"What if we have a fight?"  
>"We'll fix it, like every other stupid fight"<br>"No, I mean, what if we have a really big fight?" she asked scared  
>"Then we will work it out. I'll never leave you, you know that right?"<br>"I know.." she said, still unsure.  
>"It's us against the world, right? I can never live without you, and I hope you can never live without me."<br>"You're my everything, except for Carly. You're my nub, I couldn't live without my nerdy nub." she said with a smile and I laughed

***End of flashback***

"Freddie?" Carly almost yelled  
>"Hmm..What?" I said after a while. I was so deep in my thoughts, that I didn't realize she said something.<br>"We're going to make a stop, is that okay?"  
>"Why?" I asked irritating. I wanted to be with Sam, so fast as I could. Why would we make useless stops.<br>"Spencer is hungry, and it's good to make a break, eat something, walk a bit. It isn't good for your body to sit the whole day, you need to move, walk you know?"  
>"Okay.." I said, and soon turning my head to the window again and staring outside. I didn't want to deal with Carly right now, I just..I just wanted to feel normal again..Normal..What's that?<p>

"What's up with you?" Carly asked. We were sitting in a dinner by a petrol station. We were drinking some coffee and Spencer was somewhere running around, I think.  
>"What do you mean?" I said, like nothing was up.<br>"Since Sam has missing you are acting strange. You're not here anymore, you know? It's like you're always thinking, not paying attention to anyone."  
>"hmmm.." I said. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't tell her that I was maybe still in love with Sam. I couldn't, right?<br>"FREDDIE!...Just talk to me, okay? We were all best friends, what happened to us?" She asked concerned.  
>"Well...Sam and I dated, broke up and the whole system was fucked up." I said a bit grumpy.<br>"Freddie! Language! Since when are you acting like..."  
>"Like what!"<br>"Like this! You're not yourself anymore, the happy nerd, you know? The one who's the smart one, knows what to do and stuff."  
>"'Cause I don't know what to do! 'Cause I'm so angry at myself!"<br>"Why? Why would you be angry at yourself?" she asked concerned.  
>"Because I..Because I let the best thing that ever happened to me, don't take it personal, slip away. She's gone, don't you see it? It's all my fault, if I hadn't flipped like that on the night we all had a big fight, if I didn't went out with Sophia, she wouldn't be gone, she would still be in my arms..." I looked down, almost tearing up. I couldn't cry, not here, not where everybody is. Men don't cry, I don't cry, right?<br>"Ohmygosh...I'm so sorry Freddie...I didn't know...I didn't know you loved her...I mean still love her...It's all going to be okay, I promise! We will find her...You know Sam...Sam is just being Sam...She always comes back, it's Sam we're talking about!"  
>"But what if she's not, what if we don't find her." I asked afraid.<br>"We will, I promise."

We were drivin' again, thanks to Carly, who finally got it why I wanted to get there fast, get her fast, find her fast. I heard this song on the radio, I think it was from Kelly Clarkson, it was a populair song, I heard it many times.

_"Here's the thing _  
><em>We started out friends <em>  
><em>It was cool, but it was all pretend <em>  
><em>Yeah, yeah, since you been gone"<em>

This song made me think of her, so much. We pretended it so good, yelling, hitting and being mean. We were always fighting, but that was just me and her, Sam and Freddie. Everyone knew that, everyone who knew us, knew it was normal. Only Sam and I knew why we actually did that, fighting and stuff. We were just scared, or I think mostly Sam was scared, scared of showing her real feelings. Mostly guys are like that, you know, acting all cool and teasing the girl who they like, but I guess Sam never was really a girly girl and more like a boy, always fighting you know. But when we dated, she got less agressive, more sweet. Yeaah..Even Carly was surprised.

_"You're dedicated, you took the time _  
><em>Wasn't long 'til I called you mine <em>  
><em>Yeah, yeah, since you been gone <em>  
><em>And all you'd ever hear me say <em>  
><em>Is how I picture me with you <em>  
><em>That's all you'd ever hear me say" <em>

Yeah, it took a time before Sam and I really were a thing, I think it almost took us four years or something. Our excuse for our first kiss was that we just wanted to get it over it, you know, but I think we both actually enjoyed it. Not that Sam or I ever admitted that. And that night, on school, when she just kissed me, it surprised me. Not because I didn't liked her, but that she opened up her heart, you know, showing her feelings. That she didn't make a excuse for it, that it wasn't just to shut me up or something. And when we were together, I always told her that I liked her secretly from the beginning of when we first kissed. Of course I dated Carly, but that was only just a day, and I, yes I broke up with her, because it wasn't real, or at least Sam told me that, and I believed it. I'm glad I believed it, that I listened to Sam.  
><em><br>_

_"Something is said, it sits in my head  
>It's been there too long, it's killing me slow<br>It's rolling around, it's pushing me down  
>It's keeping the good part of me closed"<em>

It's killing me, yes, this feeling I have, the feeling I desperately need Sam, that I can't live without her, it's killing me. I want to hate her, hate her because she ruined everything for me, every future girlfriend, there's never going to be a better one then Sam, the one that's perfect for me. This feeling makes me a stupid guy, a moody person, like what Carly said. The good part of me, the happy, smart, nice and sensitive guy is gone.

_"My only weakness, is knowing your secrets_  
><em>and holding them close, and hold them tight<em>  
><em>I know the way to silently make you<em>  
><em>smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight"<em>

When we were fighting, or at least when Sam was angry, angry with me or anyone, and I just smiled, grinned, and she just stared in my eyes she never could be angry anymore. She just kept looking in my eyes, she couldn't look away, like she was being hypnotized. And then I kissed her, and everything was all right. It was like I had magic, that I really could change her. Every time Sam got in trouble, I needed to come to the principal office, just to calm her. Everyone said we took the best out each other. Why the hell did I let her go?

_"Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me_  
><em>Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always<em>  
><em>Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"<em>

I need to find her, just for me, to make myself better. I'm a mess! I can't live this way, forever thinking about her. I just need to talk to her, one last time. Even though I want more, I want her forever, I know I cant, I know I've hurt her, hurt her too much. So just one talk, to close this chapter, to let her know she means everything to me, that I can't live without her, that nothing would ever be the same.

We stopped at a motel. It was getting really late, and Spencer was tired of riding, so we decided to sleep here and driving further the next morning. I had, luckily, my own room. I was on my pear phone, looking at the pear phone tracker, and looking at were Sam was. She wasn't far away, I think an hour driving or something. It's weird that she's still at the same spot, maybe she didn't had any signal, yeah, that could be it. I promised I was going to be positive, if I wasn't positive, nothing good would come out of it.

_Next morning_

"Are you guys ready?" I asked when I walked Spencer's hotel room in, still looking at my pear phone, checking if Sam was still there, or at least her phone.  
>"Freddie, I'm really sorry, but Spencer got really sick, I think he has a cold or something. I don't think he would be able to drive." Carly said, her eyes could speak that she was really sorry.<br>"No, it's okay. We don't want an accident or something, because Spencer's not feeling well." I said faking a smile, pretending it was allright. I knew if we waited longer, we really could lost Sam, not being able to find her anymore. I was already scared that she left her phone somewhere, because it wasn't moving or something.  
>"Well, you could take the car and find Sam. She isn't far away right? And when you found her, take her back, if you can, pick us up or something. And if not, we can take a cab home or something. Is that okay?"<br>"That's a pretty good idea. But how do I know you're still here, or not?" I asked.  
>"Well, at least we have to wait till Spence is better, because we wouldn't want a sick Spencer in a car, throwing up. So we're going to stay here till he's better and I'll text you when we're going home, okay?" Carly asked. I nodded, said goodbye and got into the car with my stuff.<p>

I was driving so hard, that I think, that I have so many fines. **(A/N Don't know if that's the right word, I just looked it up at google translate, haha.)** I was getting closer. The radio was on, and I heard this song.

_"Used to come around here every day_  
><em>Now you're breakin"<em>

She stopped going to Carly, after that fight. She was crying at home, breaking stuff, I saw it myself. It looked there awful. And what her old neighbor told me, it scared the hell out of me. I never knew Sam was capable of that, you know, breaking down, being depressed. It's not like Sam, but I also know Sam hides her feelings, swallows it and eventually it has to come out some way.

_"Used to be the one that is not ashamed_  
><em>Now you shamin"<em>

I know she is ashamed of what she did, hurting me and Sophia, betrayal me. I already forgive her, of course, I never could be mad at her for long. I only hope she'd forgive me.

_"Lost in all the wars we fought_  
><em>Never saw a road<br>__Now that i think about you in the skies  
><em>_I'd turn my row  
><em>_And i wonder where you are  
><em>_Now I wonder where you..__Are"_

Where are you Sam? Can't you tell me? Her phone was really close. Huh? Her phone was in the woods? I parked my car at the opening of the woods and stopped. Is she in the woods? What the fuck..Sam doesn't like nature, any place where she has to walk. I was walking through the woods, but I didn't saw any sign of her. Wait...Is that a packaging from a chocolat bar? What is Sam doing here? I saw some light coming through the trees, so I thought to walk to that, maybe there aren't many trees there and I can see, hopefully, some more then only trees. I was at the end of the woods, I saw the edge, a beautiful sky and..a blond girl...wait Sam? Is she going to jump?

"Sam?" I asked. She ignored me. She didn't even turn around to see who I was. "Sam, it's Freddie. Why did you ran away? What's going on? Please tell me." I asked her, I tried to be helpful, concerned and just perfect for her. Suddenly she turned around, not fast, slowly, but she did turned around.  
>"Why'd you want to know? It's not like you care. You were pretty clear the last time." she said mad, but in the inside, you could see that she was breaking.<br>"I know...I'm so sorry...I know I was a jerk, okay? I messed it all up, I was out of line. You have every right to be mad at me, but Sam, just don't jump. For me, because everything I said last time, was a big lie. Not that you should believe me now, I understand. But I do love you, you know how crazy I'm about you, how I've been acting lately when you were gone, how I wasn't myself, how I would kill myself if something happens to you. Don't jump, not only for me, for everyone who cares about you. Please"  
>"Don't you get it, Benson. NOBODY cares a fucking thing about me!" she said, looking down, almost crying. I wanted to ask what about Carly, about her mother, her family, but she was a step ahead.<br>"Everyone leaves me! You, my mom, Jake, Melanie, my father, Carly...I'm a mess, I fuck things up and hurt everyone and most important, I hurt myself, that's why everyone's leaving me, so why not just leave myself, for good. Nobody would care, they're better of without me, you're better without me!" she screamed and tears were falling of her cheek.  
>"I never will be better without you. I'm a mess without you. I don't pay attention to anyone, I'm moody, hurt people with my comments. If you..make an end of yourself, I will forever be depressed, forever alone.."<br>"And Sophia? You don't have any right to say that it's my fault if you get depressed and don't marry someone. Don't make me feel guilty, yeah? Yes, I fucked it up, fucked our relationship up, but I got my lesson, yes? You already hurt me back, so don't give me the blame yes!" she said. Her emotions were changing into sad, crying into mad, angry, furious.  
>"I'm sorry..I didn't want to hurt you back. Why are we doing this to each other, hurting each other every time, why do we need to get even?"<br>"Because we are being us! Because we are Sam and Freddie, Seddie. Because we never were ment to be together! Because we..because we are scared to show our feelings, hold our prides. We can't change, don't you see it? We're already fighting! I'm already making it more worse then it is! And you, I'm ruining it all for you, we are ruining it all. And if that's not all, you have a girlfriend, I can't be that girl who steals a boyfriend. Yeah, I know, I'd never care about that, about stealing and stuff. But I know how it hurts, losing you, feeling dead inside.  
>"But Sam-" she cut my off, like always.<br>"Don't, okay? I love you, never forget that...Goodbye, Freddie" And she let herself fall, she jumped!  
>"SAAAM! NOOOOO!" I screamed. O my god, Sam couldn't be dead, Sam was here, just a second ago. I just wanted to tell her that I broke up with Sophia. Why didn't she just listened, just for a second, maybe then she didn't jump.<p>

I ran so hard as I could, find a way to get down there without killing myself. I think I ran the hardest a person ever could.

"911 Emergency please?"  
>"She jumped, killed herself, fell in the water." I was tearing up, I couldn't stand the idea that I lost her.<br>"Sir, you need to calm down, okay? Tell us where you are, so we can send a ambulance."  
>"I can't calm down okay! I lost her!..." I was so confused, I couldn't think straight. Normally I would've already told what exactly happen and the ambulance was already on his way, now I took 10 seconds just to say 'she' or 'killed'. "In the woods, by a river, I don't know! Some place big!" I said anxious. She fell in the river, driving, fast away from me. I told the lady where I was and dropped my phone so I could get in the water. I swam as hard as I could to get to her. I took her out of the water, trying to do the mouth to mouth resuscitation <strong>(AN not sure if that's right, but you know what I mean, right?) **I was scared, scared that she won't wake up, that it's all too late, that I fucked it up really bad. "Sam! Don't leave me here okay! Stay with me! I love you!" I was screaming, already crying and being helpless. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't a doctor! Yeah, I was a nerd, got good grades, but how was I supposed to know this stuff! Soon the ambulance came..She took her away, with me..of course. I was hoping, praying, everything I could do, everything I could do that may help.

_"Can we pretend that airplanes  
>in the night sky are like shooting stars<br>I could really use a wish right now  
>wish right now, wish right now"<em>

* * *

><p><em><em>**Sooo what do you think? I know I uploaded this chapter a bit late, but it's the longest (I think) chapter I've ever made. It's really heavy, the chapter, I know, but I hope you still liked it. I really need feedback for this, because I don't know what to think about it. I personally don't really liked the "the one that got away" part, but I didn't want to delete it. So, or you really loved it or you really hated it. So please review! The songs I used are (in order): The one that got away (Katy Perry), Since u been gone (Kelly Clarkson), When you find me (Joshua Radin ft. Maria Taylor), Missing one persons 1 & 2 (One Republic) and Airplanes (Hayley Williams and B.o.B.). Hope you don't mind all the lyrics in the story, I really think it fits, I hope you do also :) Pleaseeee review, you're going to make my day if you do that, so why not make a person happy? At least one person happy, unless it's a really depressing comment haha. Lovessss**


	7. iBreakaway

**Sorry for not updating soo fast, sorry sorry! But I had a little bit of writers block, I finally decided how the next chapter is going to be! I have a lot of plans for the story, but I just didn't know how to write this chapter and the next. I personally don't like this chapter. But that's just my opinion. Please review, you have no idea how it makes me happy! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Sam's POV<strong>

"Wanted_ to belong here, but something felt so wrong here  
><em>_So I pray, I could breakaway"_

_"I spread my wings and I learn how to fly  
><em>_I'll do what it takes, till I touch the sky  
><em>_Make a wish, take a chance, make a change  
><em>_And breakaway"_

I let myself fall.

"SAAAM! NOOOOO!" I heard, somewhere deep in my minds. I felt a rush, I finally could breathe, which I couldn't do in ages. I felt relief.

_"Out of the darkness and into the sun  
><em>_But I won't forget all the ones that I loved  
><em>_Take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
><em>_And breakaway"_

Thoughts were running through my mind.

Memories.

Kisses, holding hands, looks.

Suddenly I felt a hard clap, so much pain in my back, I felt like my body was on fire, it burned so hard. And everything went black.

_"Your fingertips across my skin  
><em>_the palm trees swaging in the wind_

_Images"_

I saw my whole life in my mind, but by every memory I could see Freddie's face through it. The face when I let myself fall. The shock, the worried look, the "Oh noo" look.

"_You sang my spanish lullabies  
><em>_The sweetness sadness in your eyes  
><em>_Clever trick"_

Do I even care? I mean, I never wanted, or want, I don't know, am I dead already? But I never wanted to see him unhappy, I just thought that he wanted the same. I mean, I was so unhappy, I couldn't breathe, from the inside I was already dead. Why couldn't he just understand that.

_"But I never wanted to see you unhappy  
><em>_I thought you want the same for me"_

I felt relief, I finally could breathe. I didn't have the feeling I missed something, or that I searched for something. The battle in life that you have. I mean, don't we all have the feeling we need to climb up a mountain. That sometimes it's very easy, there's a path where you can walk on but sometimes there isn't a path, there isn't a map were you can see how you need to walk, it's steep, dangerous, but if you don't take the right step, you fall. And you need to climb up again. Don't we all have the feeling that we have to reach something, our goals. The goal that is forever in the back of your mind, that you're scared you won't reach it on time, that there's a lot of pressure on you. I didn't feel any pressure anymore, didn't feel scared anymore, for the world, what would happen to me, how I'll end up, I didn't feel insecure, the pressure to be perfect, to be pretty, skinny, the perfect image, all of it was gone, I actually didn't feel anything. It felt amazing, finally no worries anymore.

Suddenly I see a white light, a white place. I'd hope somebody would be there, someone who would show me the way, but nobody was there. I should've expect that, in life you also don't have somebody to show you the way. I walked, finding the way, something that could lead to me to..I don't know. What happens if you're dead? I mean, I thought about it, you know, when I was alive. I always believed that you'd be in the sky or at least somewhere up. My grandmother, who died when I was seven, told me that if she'd die, that she would be in the stars, so every time I felt like the world would fall apart. I always looked up to the stars, every evening. You can say I'm not a sensitive girl, that I don't know what love is, but I do. I have a heart, somewhere deep in my skin. But the difference is, that I don't easily show it. Too many people brought me down, left me, hurt me, that I can't easily trust someone, show my feelings. I'm a tough girl, not because I like hitting someone, or because I'm heartless, no because I don't want anyone to hurt me, they won't hurt me anymore, never..not anymore..

Even though I am really happy that I don't feel anything anymore, no hurt, worries, pressure, anything, I still have the feeling that I'm a coward. That I didn't had the will to fight longer, to survive. I mean, I'm a strong girl, right? That's the reason why I still was breathing when Freddie broke up with me, and after that. I'm not a coward, right? Ugh, why do I steel feel this way. I thought if you were dead you didn't feel guilty about anything, you didn't feel ANYTHING!

Shit, Freddie! Why do you make me feel this way! Why do you have to whirl in my head! I'm dead, I want to be dead, I don't want to feel anything! Don't you get it. I don't want to see you, not in real life, not in my mind!

_"Goodbye my almost lover  
><em>_Goodbye my hopeless dream  
><em>_I'm trying not to think about you  
><em>_Can't you just let me be  
><em>_So long my luckless romance  
><em>_My back in turned on you  
><em>_Should've know you bring my heartache  
><em>_Almost lovers always do"_

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter, but I just wanted to have Sam's dead experience in one chapter , cause I don't think it would fit in the next chapter. I hope I update the next chapter sooner, but that depends on how much inspiration I get, more reviews get how more inspiration I get! The songs in this chapter are breakaway from Kelly Clarkson and Almost Lover from A Fine Frenzy (I recommend this song! It's beautiful!) Oh and if anyone asks, the story isn't finished for a long time! I really want at least 15 chapters, I hope I can do that haha. Hope the story doesn't stink or something. I just read the beginning and it's soo bad, I really could do a lot better! But yeah..Till next time! loves!<strong>


	8. iDon't Want To See You

**Hellooo, yeahhh a new chapter! It took me a bit, but here it is. It's a long chapter, you guys deserved it! :) I have a little twist in it, I hope I surprise you :) And I hope that for the ones who asked why Sam was acting like that, is now answered. In this chapter I really want to show you their friendship. Sam and Carly but also Carly and Freddie. So don't worry, no creddie, just their friendship. I also hope I wrote Carly good, I think she's a nice person, but she wants to have things in control, or know things, she feels like a mother, I mean she raises Spencer more then Spencer her. And also Sam. Hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, if I did, why on earth would I write on fanfiction? :P**

* * *

><p><em>"Hello world<em>  
><em>Hope you're listening<em>  
><em>Forgive me if I'm young<em>  
><em>For speaking out of turn<em>  
><em>There's someone I've been missing<em>  
><em>I think that they could be<em>  
><em>The better half of me<em>  
><em>They're in the wrong place trying to make it right<em>  
><em>But I'm tired of justifying<em>  
><em>So I say to you..<em>

_Come home  
>Come home<br>Cause I've been waiting for you  
>For so long<br>For so long  
>And right now there's a war between the vanities<br>But all I see is you and me  
>The fight for you is all I've ever known<br>So come home  
>Oh"<em>

**Carly's POV**

I ran, ran as hard as I could. People were starring at me, yelling: HEY! Watch out!, but I really didn't care. I care about Sam. Hospital called me, saying that my friend, my best friend! was in the hospital! I didn't know what exactly happened, but I didn't care, the only thing what is important is that Sam is hopefully allright.

_"I get lost in the beauty  
>Of everything I see<br>The world ain't as half as bad  
>As they paint it to be<br>If all the sons  
>If all the daughters<br>Stopped to take it in  
>Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin<br>It might start now..Yeah  
>Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud"<em>

"Hello, what can I do for you?"  
>"I'm here for Sam Puckett" I said<br>"Hmm..Are you family?"  
>"No..But I'm her best friend! I'm..She's like a sister for me!" I started crying. I can't lose her! I wanted to see her, no matter what. I was trying to convince the nurse. I mean, I'm more family to Sam then her real family.<br>"Okay, girl, calm down..She's in the ER, you can't visit her, but you can wait here in the waiting room, a doctor will come if she's out of the ER." the nurse said with a smile, trying to help me, wich actually didn't help at all! You can't make it okay with a smile! My best friend is trying to survive and she's trying to make it allright with a smile!  
>"When will she be out of the ER?<br>"We don't know, it can take an hour, but it could also take 4 hours."  
>"Okay..." I said and walked to the waiting room.<p>

**Freddie's POV**

We stopped by the hospital. They took Sam away and told me to wait in the waiting room. Thoughts were crossing my mind. Things I should've said to her, things I should've do. I saw how the doctors look at each other, knowing that it's almost impossible to save her. But I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to know that she isn't here anymore. O god, how could I let this happened.

**Carly's POv**

I saw Freddie sitting, he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands on his neck. I think he was saying something, whispering to himself, but I couldn't here it. "Hey" I said with a half smile, but my voice was cracked. I sat next to him. He looked up to me, and said hey back. He looked a mess, you could see he cried. I wanted to ask what happened, did he let Sam fall or something, did he punched her too hard, did they fight and she ended up badly? But I knew Freddie didn't want to talk about it. He would tell it eventually. I just hugged him and he hugged back. "She's going to be okay, right?" I asked, still hugging him. "I...I don't know. It was pretty serious..." he said. "I..I can't lose her, Freddie!" I said and I started crying. "I know..me neither.." I think we sat there, crying, hugging each other for more then ten minutes.

_"Everything I can't be_  
><em>Is everything you should be<em>  
><em>And that's why I need you here<em>  
><em>Everything I can't be<em>  
><em>Is everything you should be<em>  
><em>And that's why I need you here<em>  
><em>So hear this now..."<em>

He let go of me, and looked down. It looked almost that Freddie felt guilty, did he let Sam fall? Did he do this to her? Noo...Freddie wouldn't do that, right? He loved her...He still loves her! Right? I'm so confused right know, everything is so unsure. I'm going crazy right here. I can't stand it if I don't know something, if I'm not in control, I need to know things, need to know the situation.

"Freddie?..." I asked, unsure. "Do you have anything to do with it, with Sam?"  
>He looked up with tears in his eyes. The words he didn't say was the answer.<br>How could he? He was my friend, one of my best friends, he...he loved her!

**Freddie's POV**

"Freddie?..." she asked. "Do you have anything to do with it, with Sam?"  
>I looked up to her, I didn't know what to say. How could you was her face expression and she stood up and start walking away.<br>"Carly! Wait!" she didn't stopped. "I...I didn't hurt her..that way.." I said, it was more to myself then to her. More convincing myself that I didn't do it, but I did right? Because of me she jumped! It was my fault, it was all my fault..She stopped, turned around and said "Then who did?"  
>How can you tell someone that their best friend killed herself, commit suicide? I didn't want to be the one telling this to her, tell her that Sam didn't want to live anymore. I knew Carly would feel guilty, that she didn't help Sam, but how could she help her, right?<p>

"Look..I..Uhm..Can we sit down?" I asked her, no idea how I could say this to her. "Sure, only if you tell" she said. I nodded and we sat down.  
>"Well..You know how I was searchin' for Sam, right?" she nodded and looked at me that I needed to go on. "Well, her phone was in the woods, I was confused, I mean Sam would never be in the woods, right? Unless they have there great food" I said with a smile, thinking about her love for food. "Well, I still decided to look there, even though I thought Sam wouldn't be there. But her phone was, so I thought maybe there's something that would lead me to Sam. When I walked in the woods I found an opening, the end of the woods and I saw the edge. And when I looked a little bit higher...I..I saw a blond curly haired girl. It was Sam. She...She was about to jump." I said and stopped to look at Carly's face. Her hand was for her mouth and she looked shocked, no she was shocked. "She committed suicide?" she asked, still with the shock expression on her face. I nodded carefully. "And...And you didn't stop her?" now she was more angry. Angry on me. "You know I would! I tried yeah, I said so many things, hoping that would change her mind, but she didn't. Nothing helped! And then suddenly she jumped, before..before I could finished my sentence..I ran as hard as I could, I got her out of the water, called 911. I tried everything! I'm really sorry! I..I-" "It's okay, Freddie. I'm still mad at you, though. For not being able to stopping her, but you tried at least." she said with a smile. "And..And I just can't lose you too as a friend..I need you now..I can't deal with this alone. I..I don't know how to handle this situation..I just want Sam back.." she said. I knew exactly what she felt.<p>

_"Come home_  
><em>Come home<em>  
><em>Cause I've been waiting for you<em>  
><em>For so long<em>  
><em>For so long<em>  
><em>And right now there's a war between the vanities<em>  
><em>But all I see is you and me<em>  
><em>The fight for you is all I've ever known<em>  
><em>Ever known<em>  
><em>So come home<em>  
><em>Come home"<em>

"Are you family of Sam Puckett?" the doctor asked who walked up to us.  
>"No, we're her best friends" Carly said.<br>"You know where her family is?"  
>"they aren't here. She..she doesn't really have a good relationship with her family" Carly said.<br>"oh okay...Uhm..Well, Sam is just out the ER. It was a very difficult job, but she made it. She's asleep now, she needs a lot of rests. You can visit her if you want, but don't make her upset, she needs to be calm now or her heart won't take it."  
>We nodded and the doctor walked away.<p>

"I can't believe it!" Carly said happy "She's going to be allright!"  
>"I know" I said with a smile<br>"You wanna go first?" she asked  
>"Uhm..No..You go first..I need to think about what I'm going to say to her."<br>"Okay..But don't make her upset" I nodded and we walked to her room. Carly walked in and I waited patiently in the hall.

What am I going to say to Sam? I can say a thousand times I love you, but I still don't think she would believe me. It's hard I know, after what I did. But she need to know how scared I was, how my heart almost stopped beating.

**Carly's POV**

I walked in the room and I saw Sam sleeping. She looked awful, but I guess falling from ten meters high in water would damaged you a lot. I sat down next to her and held her hand.

"Hey..It's me, Carly, you're best friend." she didn't answer, I should've known that.  
>"You know, I'm not angry on you, after our fight, more you yelling at me. I know you didn't mean it. You're my best friend, right? We fight, we make up, we stay true to each other no matter what, no one can come between us, even a boy..even...Freddie...I love you" I hoped that would open her eyes, but it still didn't.<p>

"Fried chicken" I said for fun, I mean it would always wake her up. I smiled at the memories.  
>Suddenly she opened her eyes. She looked very tired and sick, but she still was capable of saying "Where's the food?". I laughed, of course, knowing I had my best friend back again.<br>"Heey, how are you feeling" I asked  
>"Next to feeling so much pain, sick and dizzy, I'm okay I think, but I'm really hungry"<br>"Hmm..Wouldn't expect anything less" she smiled, but you knew she wasn't really in the mood for jokes.  
>"Why can't I move my hands?" she asked, looking at her hands being stuck at her bed.<br>"Sam..You committed suicide..." I said as gently as possible.  
>"But that doesn't mean I'm going to do that again!" she raised her voice, oh shit, she was getting upset.<br>"Then why did you do it?" I blurred out. This question was stuck in my head for a long time, it had to come out some time. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" she cut me off, like always.  
>"It's okay, I should've expect that question." she said nicely, wich was very rare for Sam, being nice. I mean I am her best friend, but yeah, she wasn't really that nice to people expect for me, Spencer and Freddie, well I don't think Freddie anymore.<br>"You know...I was in a hard time..I think it's called depression, hah, remember when-"  
>"Yeah I know" I said with a smile on my face. Sam said that depression was just a way to being pathetic and get attention.<br>"Guess it isn't a way to get attention, but a real disease" she said.  
>"Uhm well...I felt..really alone..Everything went wrong and I..I just had enough.."<br>"But you're not going to kill yourself anymore?" I asked with confusing, but also a bit happy knowing I probably won't lose her again in the next few years.

**Sam's POV**

"Nah..." I said with a smile. "You know...Even though I was dead for I think a couple of minutes...I felt a bit of a coward"  
>"Why? she asked a bit confused.<br>"Well...Because...Pucketts never give up, you know..And I feel like I gave up..Didn't fight enough...I think that's also the reason why I'm still alive." I said.  
>*cough cough*<br>"Yeahh you're also a reason, Carls." I said with a smile. "You know..I'm really sorry 'bout everything" I said, really seriously.  
>"I know, me too. But I forgive you for everything, 'cause I really don't want to lose you again. I love you" she said and hugged me.<br>"Love you too" I whispered.

I still felt like a psycho, your hands all tied up.

Carly let go of me and said "I'm going now, I'll come back at you later, I'll get you some food, okay?" I nodded, how could I resist.  
>"Oh" Carly said while she was about leaving the room. "Freddie wants to visit you, is that allright?" she asked.<p>

Wait..Freddie..I really didn't want to deal with him now..He's the reason, mostly, why, you know, killed myself.  
>"No" I said softly<br>"What?"  
>"No, I don't want to see him"<br>"Why?"

"Because..Because I don't feel like it..Because I don't have nothing to say to him, and I especially don't need to hear his crap. Please, Carls. Don't let him come, okay?"  
>"Okay, but you have to talk to him eventually, you know that right?" I nodded and she walk out of the room.<p>

**Carly's POV**

She didn't want to see Freddie? Hmm..They must had a pretty serious argument then when they last talked. I didn't want to upset her so I didn't asked about it further. I walked outside and saw Freddie waiting. How was I supposed to say this to him?

"How is she feeling" he asked concerned.  
>"Okay, I think, but she looks awful" he nodded, knowing he wouldn't expect less.<br>"Well, I'm going in then" he said already walking to the door of her room.  
>"Wait..Freddie"<br>"What?" he asked  
>"Uhmm..She.."<br>"She what? Carly, what's going on?"  
>"She doesn't want to see you okay?" I said as fast as I could. I hoped he didn't hear that.<br>"What?" shizz he heard.  
>"She said she didn't want to talk to you"<br>"Well I want to talk to her.." he said, being stubborn.  
>"Yeah..I know..But she doesn't want to see you, I'm sorry Freddie. She will speak to you, eventually, she just needs time." I said as gently as possible.<p>

"I SAVED HER! I FUCKING SAVED HER!" he yelled. Okay, he was losing it. I'd never seen Freddie like this, so angry but I don't know, concerned? at the same time.  
>A nurse came and held Freddie "Sir, you need to calm down, please walk with me." she said.<br>"NOO, not until I see Sam!" he yelled.  
>"Security!" the nurse yelled.<p>

Ohmygod...I just saw Freddie take away with security men.

**Freddie's POV**

Why didn't she want to see me? Why? What have I done? How on earth could she not want to see me? I almost lost her!

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for changing with POV's all the time. I hoped I surprised you all with this chapter. Don't worry, Seddie will happen! Just be patience :) The song used in this chapter is Come home from One Republic (Wich I really recommend, it's a really good band) I hope that for the people who asked why Sam was acting like that, now know why, and if not, just say it in a review or PM and I'll explain it to you. Lots of loves here!<strong>


End file.
